Ed Edd 'n' Eddy Class of 71 (The Introduction)
by Lindsay2000
Summary: Ed Edd 'n' Eddy back in the early 1970s.


**Ed Edd 'n' Eddy Class of 71**

 **The Introduction**

 **By:** Lindsay

Hey, and welcome back to the year 1971! You heard me right: Nixon, Vietnam War, Woman's Lib. It's all coming back, man…oh, allow myself to introduce, uh, myself. My name is Ed Krofft. (No middle name, I don't even have a nickname. I tried once to get them to call me "Scooter" at school but it didn't seem to catch on so I just gave up.) My height's six feet two. (Because of my height, I've been asked over and over by my coach at school to join the basketball team but I refuse because I hate sports.) And my pals and I are seniors at Peach Creek High School. And I know what you're thinking; why aren't I stupid? Well, I never really was. I just pretended to be stupid for years because if I acted smart, Double D might think I was trying to show him up, but a year ago, I decided to act like myself. Anyway, let me tell you what I now look like in 1971; I'm going on 18 (my pals are the same age), I've grown my hair past my shoulders, and it's orange-red, my hair was so short before that you couldn't see the color; I've got brown eyes, only one eyebrow, and no, I no longer like B-movies, I now love rock 'n roll! And my favorite group is Led Zeppelin! (Well, it used to be The Beatles, but when they broke up last year in 1970, I thought there was no other group to listen to, boy was I wrong!)

I've got one little sister, and she's a bratty preteen. Her name is Sarah, she's 11, got the same hair color as me, and she's into The Jackson 5, The Osmonds, and all that other bubblegum junk. There's no point in describing her beyond that, it's a waste of time. So let me tell you about what Double D and Eddy are like now. Let's start with Edd (Double D) Schuster, he's grown his black hair to his shoulders, wears square glasses, now has braces (You see, for years, he's had a gap in his teeth, and his mom got sick of it and made him fix it.), and is president in audio/visual club (BORING!), and his girlfriend, Kate Morrison, is pretty much into the same stuff. Now onto Eddy Johnson, he hasn't changed much over the years, he's still got three hairs, he's still short, and is still trying to be a ladies' man. But the outlook is not so good for him; he calls himself the 'Cul-de-sac Casanova,' but no chick seems to believe that. Oh, speaking of chicks, let me tell you about mine; her name is Penny Lane (I haven't a clue about her last name, she doesn't even have parents.) And she's a hippie (By now a lot of hippies have given up their traits but Penny's still a flower child through and through.), she's got really long blue-black hair, groovy blue eyes, and we've been dating since 1969, when we were sophomores (most high school romances never last more than a few months). She's about five feet eight inches tall, that's more than my mom. Her best friend is Kate, and they're really talking about the whole Woman's Lib thing going on with the chicks. If you want to know the truth, I'm not crazy about the whole thing, I think chicks are gonna end up taking over the world!

Okay, I guess that's all you'll need to know about everyone, so let me go on with the story…

It was a Friday morning in February, and it was a chilly yet sunny day. I was driving my pals Double D and Eddy to school in my Chevy station wagon my old man gave to me after he got a new Cadillac Fleetwood (Those things cost an arm and a leg!). And we were listening to _Draggin' The Line_ on the top 40-radio station.

"Did any of you prepare for Mr. Goober's English exam?" asked Double D.

"I sure did," I said. "I've had d-hall all week!"

"What did you do?" asked Eddy, who was sitting in the back seat.

"Supposedly smoking in the bathroom," I answered. "YOU were smoking 'em, and when the principal came in to see who was smoking, you crept out of a window and gave me the pack. Then the principal assumed I was smoking and gave me a week of d-hall! And I just got out of it yesterday."

Let me tell you something: I DON'T smoke, or drink, either. But Eddy smokes like a chimney and drinks like a loony goon. I get onto him about that, but he never listens.

"Oh, that…" said Eddy feeling guilty.

After a few minutes of crusin' and forgetting about school, Double D burst out, "ED! You just passed the school!"

"Aw shoot! We're already late as it is!" Why didn't he tell me I passed it a minute before? Anyway, after my remark, I put the ol' wagon in reverse and pulled up at the school.

When we got to our lockers, we saw Kevin, Nazz and Rolf nearby—oh boy, am I a jackass, I forgot to tell you about how they're doing now. Let's start with Kevin; he's a quarterback on the football team and all in all he's a total jock. (And no, I by no means care for P.E. or sports for that matter.) And about Rolf, he's president of the Geography AND photography clubs! (If I had to manage so much stuff, I'd lose my mind!) And last year, at the 1970 Worlds' Fair (which was in Peach Creek), he won first prize for his stuffed pig head! I think I'm gonna be sick! …Okay, now last about Nazz, well, I never think much about her, she's a bit shallow and girly for my taste in chicks, and that's all I've got to say about her. Oh, she's a varsity cheerleader, too. (Like that's so important! I'm glad I have a chick like Penny, she hates cheerleaders.) I'm sure you're bored out of your mind by now, so I'll go on with the story (again)…

"Hey!" shouted Penny and Kate, who were running towards Double D and I.

"Hey babe," said to Penny while putting my arm around her.

"Hi Double D," said Kate, hugging him. And as you may have guessed Eddy felt a bit blue about being the only one of us Ed-boys that doesn't have a chick. But he always hides it, and I can _always_ tell when he's upset about something.

After a few minutes of chatting with our chicks, the first bell rang, and a slew of kids came tearing down the halls, and we almost got trampled.

"Kate, we're going to be late for audio/visual!" said Double D, grabbing Kate's hand as they both ran into a nearby classroom. I'm NOT going to let you see what they do in there, because they don't do anything, really. All they do is watch filmstrips and examine the projectors; I've been in there with Double D once, and I was bored out of my mind. So it's for your own good that you don't go in there…anyhow, Penny, Eddy, and I have Mr. Goober's English class for homeroom.

"Do you know how close you three mopsters are to being late?" was his remark as we took our seats as the bell rang.

Let me tell you a little about Mr. Goober; he ain't old and he ain't young—somewhere between 30 and 50—and he's got the attention span of a grape and a temper worse than an enraged gorilla's, bad qualities for an English teacher. (Actually, those are bad qualities for any teacher!)

And if you had a brain of some sort you wouldn't _dare_ call him Peanut Noggin. Eddy did once and got d-hall for three days.

"Class," he continued. "Today is the English exam that I gave you all week to prepare for. I hope you've all studied!"

When we started with the test, I thought it was pretty easy since I've studied all week in d-hall. (I'm not going to bore you with the whole time we took that exam, just one or two highlights.)

Penny was good with it, too. In fact, she was a pretty level headed chick. I mean, she's not on the honor's society like Kate is but she always does well on her exams, and teachers seem to like her, even Mr. Goober. But Eddy, that's another story. He never turns anything in, and thanks to that, Mr. Goober's meaner to him than anyone.

"Pssst!" whispered Eddy, who was sitting behind me. "What's the answer to number one?"

"Eddy," I whispered. "I'm not letting you cheat."

"Ahem," said Mr. Goober, a bit ticked. "Do you two have something to share with the rest of us?"

We shook our heads.

"Then button up and get back to work!"

But right after that, Eddy tapped Penny's shoulder. "Penny, what's the answer to number one?"

"Eddy," Penny whispered. "It's your own fault you didn't study."

All right, Penny! And after that, Eddy said nothing and worked on the test even if he didn't know most of the answers.

 _I don't want to waste too much time on boring stuff like that, so let's cut to a few hours later at lunch._

At the Peach Creek High School cafeteria, you have one of two choices: you can bring your own bag lunch with a baloney and cheese sandwich or a TV dinner (They're pretty scrumptious cold.) and a Coke, or if you're me, you have to eat the hot meal the school gives you which isn't by any means hot and I wouldn't give it to a starvin' dog. And after I met up with Double D and Eddy, we got a seat with Penny and Kate.

"Hey," said Kate. "It's about time you guys got here. We've been waiting."

"We've been busy," I replied coyly.

"Sure…"

"Really we were," said Double D. "One of the projectors had a breakdown."

"Why do you like that boring audio/visual stuff, anyway?" asked Eddy.

"It's NOT boring!" said Kate a bit ticked.

"She's right," added Double D. "You get to see nature film strips."

"Eddy's right," I said. "That IS boring!"

"You men are all alike," said Penny, opening a soda pop bottle.

"Oh we are, are we?" I asked coyly. "I dig Led Zeppelin while the geek Double D here digs that sciencey stuff!"

"Who are you calling a geek?" asked Double D slightly ticked.

"Just forget I said anything, okay?"

The rest of what happened at lunch isn't really worth describing in detail. All we did the whole 45 minutes was talk, reluctantly ate our food (Or was it?) and afterwards we walked around the schoolyard.

 _I'm going to cut to what happened after school, I don't want to clot the story with boring school stuff. But once more stories come, you'll get to meet more of the teachers, get to see Kevin, Nazz and Rolf, etc. Let's go on…_

After school, we were all half-running-half-walking to my station wagon to beat the Friday rush. (The Friday rush is when a million kids run out of the school to get out of there.) And when we finally managed to get inside the car and drive off, we were going to go to get some pizza but the pizza joint was packed (it always is on Fridays after school). And when we drove around some more to find some other place to eat, each place was crowded as well. So, we decided to go to my house and hang around in my room and maybe watch a movie or something.

When we got to my house, we walked through the living room and found Sarah and her friend Jimmy (Can't stand him, either!) laughing like loons at _The Brady Bunch_ on TV. And my mom was preparing meatloaf or something for dinner and my dad sitting at the kitchen table, frustrated, flipping through bills and punching numbers into an adding machine.

 _As a matter of fact, if it's OK with you, I think I'd better start back with some family history, or you won't know what I'm talking about or who (Whom?)._

First let's start with Ma. Her name is Kitty Jean Parker Krofft, and she's 37, which makes her one of the youngest mothers in my class. And her height's about five foot seven. Other than that, there really isn't much to describe about her; she's a housewife, which means she doesn't have a job, she has orange-red hair, even at her age. (That answers your question about how my kid sister and I have the same hair color.) All in all, she's nice most of the time, just as long as you don't slack around too much. (She's always watching those boring ladies' panel shows and she thinks that kids, even though I'm almost 18, need to spend time outdoors.)

My dad is William Wearing Krofft; he's called Bill; he's 42; he has brown hair that's a little too short but I've seen worse; his height's about six feet. Most of the time he's pretty nice, but if the business (home or job) gets tied up like it is right now he's pretty twitchy. He's an account executive at Joffert and Jennings, and last year his main account was Sunshine Detergent. If you're in the environment thing and all like Penny, Kate, and Double D are, you know what I'm talking about: no phosphates, low sudsing action, and, according to Ma, gray laundry. We had boxes of the stuff all over the kitchen. You couldn't _give_ it away. This year, he has New Improved Sunshine Detergent (That's what they think!), plus something called Francie's Fortified Fish Fingers. PUKE time! If there's anything more disgusting than fortified fish, I haven't a clue what…

 _That's all you need to know about my parents. And I already explained more than enough about Sarah at the beginning. So let's carry on._

"Oh hello, children!" called Ma. (She still calls us children!) "Please, make yourselves at home. I'll make some Tang and get some oatmeal cookies!"

"Oh we're just groovy, Ma!" I called out. "You don't have to."

Eddy found what my mom said funny. "Children? Tang? Oatmeal cookies? Your mom treats us like kindergarteners!"

I'm glad Ma didn't hear that, she's sensitive about that. But he was right, she DOES treat us like kindergarteners! Once we got to my basement room, I put on a record of Three Dog Night and we started to talk about what was going on with our families.

"I'm kind of glad I don't have parents," said Penny. "If I did, I'd go crazy, man!"

"Oh my parents aren't that bad," said Kate.

"My Ma's nice but sometimes a bit too much," I added. "The way she offered us Tang and cookies. And my dad's tied up with work."

"I wanted some Tang," said Double D. "And my parents are very becoming to my life. They care about me."

"ED!" called Ma. "Time for dinner! You can see your friends tomorrow. Now come upstairs, your meatloaf's getting cold."

"Well," I said. "I guess you all have to go now."

"Okay," said Penny, kissing my cheek. "We'll see you tomorrow."

After Penny, Kate, and Eddy went home, I went upstairs and sat down in the dining room for dinner.

 _Thus concludes the introduction. Sorry there wasn't really a story to it, this was just written so you could get to know what we do here in 1971. You can see that we just hang out and have fun. And a lot happens to us so when the next story starts, it won't be boring! I promise you that. So until then, see ya!_

 _~Ed Krofft_

 **Authoress' note:** Like Ed mentioned, sorry that this intro didn't really have a story, I only wrote it so you could get to know the characters and stuff. Kind of like the first Space Outlaws fic. And I plan on doing a long series about this, so when the other stories come out, you'll get to see what really goes on at school and the teachers, the other cul-de-sac kids (But NO Kankers!), Ed's parents, and so on. I hope you look forward to these stories. I plan on doing the last one in the series about their graduation.

Keep reading these and I'll see you later! :o)


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